When Trying To Be Sexy Goes Wrong

Amusing pics of people who just couldn’t pull off the sexy moves.

#1 To be fair, that is an enormous fish.

We’d probably want to take a sexy picture with it, too.

#2 That’s one flexible woman.

The chicken’s not doing so bad, either.

#3 Yes, she’s holding an axe.

There’s a “The Shining” joke to be made, but we’ll just leave it at this: she doesn’t NOT look like Shelly Duval. We mean that as a compliment.

#4 Mess up your eyebrows?

No worries. Just double down on the eye glitter and bite your pearl necklace.

#5 He does look pretty foxy.

Well, we’re pretty sure that’s a fox, anyway. It’s something, that’s for sure.

#6 This gives “trashy” a new meaning.

Also, she’s almost certainly laying on a hypodermic needle.

#7 Two important takeaways: first, that rug is awesome.

Second, so is the framed photo of the dog. Oh, and that guy’s actually pretty ripped, too, so he’s got that going for him.

#8 Go ahead and laugh.

The fact is, that caviar’s probably incredibly expensive. Well…assuming that it’s caviar, anyway.

#9 We’ll just say it; that coat’s too big for him.

We just don’t have the heart to tell him.

#10 Nice spiderweb hat.

Granted, we’ve only seen a few spiderweb hats, but we think that this guy’s got one of the best spiderweb hats we’ve ever seen.

#11 Nice giraffe…thing.

What is that, exactly? A giraffe Christmas tree? We’ve got more questions than answers on this one.

#12 Is she cosplaying as a table?

That’s what we choose to believe. Anyway, she’s pulling it off.

#13 We love the juice pack towards the front of the shot.

Really, there’s a lot of great things about this picture.

#14 Why the newspaper?

Maybe she wants to prove the date for some reason.

#15 Well, this picture is sort of weirdly trashy…

…but that’s a downright gorgeous rug. Seriously, look at that thing.